Live and Prosper

Recently I went through more testing and found out that I have a much more serious condition that has been lurking in my body for a while. I was starting to go through a battery of tests again, just like when they could not figure out what was wrong with me before my Fibro diagnosis. Then my body began a slow process of breaking down on me. I had a flare up to beat all before it. I could barely make my Doctors appointments, I was sleeping all of the time and getting no exercise. When I did eat it was not good for me. And I had a stinky attitude.

I was in a deep depression, again. I had some medication changes to help combat the fatigue and constant pain in my muscles. Deep down I knew that I was not helping my own cause. I had a very negative attitude toward the doctors and staff at the medical center. I would scoff at the next person to tell me the tests showed nothing. I retailiated against my rheumatologist when he suggested more blood tests. I was miserable. Something was a little different then my normal depression that I have battled for years now. I was angry and short tempered. This is not me at all.

After being on my pity pot for a while, I went back to basics. Some years ago a dear friend taught me about meditation. I was never a believer in all the new age stuff. She would not give up on me. I finally relented and sat with her in her “meditation room”. That first session was pretty funny. I kept telling her I cant stop all the stuff from popping into my head! And she assured me it takes practice to be able to really clear your mind of all distractions. Boy, Ill say it does. That first meeting I came away feeling pretty good. Not because I had done a good job, heck I dont think I was able to accomplish anything. But the fact that I went against my ol’ hum bug attitude and actually tried something different that gave me a renewed sense of “I can”.

Of course the company and laughter helped a lot too. So my journey begins again. To go back to basics. Get the stinkin thinkin out of my head, take time for myself and just myself to relax or read a book. Something that gets me out of my own head. Focus on the positive not the negative. This really does work, but it takes practice. You have to be self aware of when you are talking down to yourself and even others. I start today, to change my tomorrow, I hope this helps you do the same.
Kathy